Hello! Happy 2019! I’m so excited for this year. 2018 treated me very well & I feel so grateful for another year.
I love the start of a new year. I know it’s completely possible to make positive changes to your life anytime of the year, but there’s just something about a true fresh start that gets my blood moving.
I think it’s honestly just a reminder that there are fresh starts. Sometimes I feel like I can get caught up in whatever my life is right now & forget that it won’t always be this way.. whether it’s good or bad! Jobs change, you get married, you move, kids grow up, friends move.. whatever it may be.
A new year is such a clear reminder that where you are now probably won’t be where you always are, a reminder to reflect on your life & be grateful.
I also love resolutions! I love the idea of thinking about your life, identifying something you want to change & taking the action to do it. I think that’s amazing!
I only made one resolution this year.. to read every single day even if it’s just for 5 minutes! I decided on this resolution because it was measurable ( I could actually see it happening! ), I really wanted it & because reading makes me feel more like me.
There’s no pressure, it’s not performance based. It’s doing something for myself, but giving myself the freedom that it doesn’t have to look like anything. For some reason I had this idea in my head that if I didn’t have at least 30 minutes to read, it wasn’t worth it. I have crazy thoughts sometimes!
Okay.. so here’s the real point of this.. I am so fed up with this hustle culture.
But before I say anything else, I really want to say I have no judgment here. I know that what’s right for me, isn’t right for everyone. This has just filled my mind for the last few months & has really changed a lot of my perspective on why I do things.
So here we go.
It’s mid January now, which means you may have already fallen short of your resolution. You may be feeling guilt & shame. You may ( like I have many years before ) feel like you actually just can’t do what you actually want to do.
Or..
Maybe you’re crushing it. Maybe you’ve stuck to everything you’ve wanted to change. Maybe you’re feeling really empowered by your achievement. That’s great!
Here’s my hold up.. there is no quick fix to being the fullest version of yourself.
** Side note: I can’t stand the phrase “best self.” It’s such a weird measuring stick for your life! Like.. right now I’m my best self, there’s no where but down. But I think “fullest self” more encapsalates what we are really trying to say. Getting back on course. **
This is why I don’t like all of these trendy diets lately ( which if you’re doing one, again NO JUDGEMENT! ). My husband did keto. I didn’t like it, not because it was inconvenient, but because it really just goes against my fundamental beliefs about food. But I still planned our meals around it, I tried to be as supportive as possible.
It’s why I don’t like workout plans that say you’ll drop so many pounds in so many days if you just do X, Y & Z.
Your health is hard work, it’s meant to be because it is valuable. It’s suppose to be an avenue of gratitude, not of ease.
It’s also why I don’t understand those “Read the Bible in a Year” plans. Why? What’s the point of that? Honestly, can someone tell me because I really don’t know.
And really, really why I don’t like terms like “life hack.” When did we start thinking our life was something we had to get through, instead of savoring?
That was my aha moment.. we are meant to savor this time, not find the easiest way through it.
What if instead of finding the short cuts, we were the people who were in it for the long haul? The kind of people who choose long & hard, over quick & easy? Substance over efficiency, wisdom over tricks?
Steady.. that’s what I want to be.
I don’t want to look back a month or even a year from now & see if I achieved. I want to look back 50 years from now & see if I cared & honored this life.
I feel this overwhelming pressure to be productive. Do you? It’s something I have to fight every day, everytime I run into someone & they ask “so what have you been up to lately?” Don’t you feel like you have to have something to say? Like it’s not enough to be pouring into your work & your home? There has to be something more, right?
I want a bigger vision than that though. I want to be okay if I’m doing less, but I’m doing what I am well. I want to resist the idea of quick & be thankful for things that take time, knowing that those things mean something.
Because, if I am authenticlly seeking my fullness, that is enough, even if it looks like very little to other people.
That’s my measure of importance now, will it bring life past right now? Will it make me feel more like myself? I hope that’s the measure for you. I’m so afraid we are all just looking for immediate & that soon we will realize it doesn’t amount to much.
Again, no judgement. I would hate for anyone to read this & feel shame, my desire is to relieve pressure, to give you permission ( not that you need it from me! ) to stop the hustle & start savoring. Everyone has their own way of finding that. I just want for everyone to have mindfulness of what really matters.
xo,
ellyn
